What is Teen Mediation?
Teen mediation provides a safe place to express feelings, pose questions and navigate life choices that may be uncomfortable for teens to talk about with adults in their life. We create a confidential environment to explore life and find solutions to getting along in the world with friends, family and the world in general. I am an adult mentor (friend) that will take the time to listen without judgment.
Being a teen or an “adult in training” is a complex and confusing journey. Just like when you got your first bike with training wheels, you had to practice and gain confidence to be able to ride without them. Being a teen is no different. You have to practice and grow into bigger, faster and better bikes, trying out different brands and styles to see what works best for you. Then you have to figure out how to navigate your bike within the adult-controlled world that often appears inconsistent and ridiculous.
Choosing how to get along, the best route to take and when to separate and stand on your own is their destiny. Because everyone is unique and part of a unique family situation, learning to think and feel with open-mindedness is essential. Closing the door and hiding only allows for repeated unpleasant experiences and unhappiness.
What Teens Will Learn:
- To view authority and rules from an outside perspective.
- To navigate confusing messages from the adults and the world in general.
- To mitigate their emotions and choose appropriate words and actions.
- To communicate in a respectful, non-threatening way that will allow them to be heard and understood.
- To communicate respectfully to mistakes and forgetfulness.
- To restore justice in the best way possible.
- To forgive and move on.
- To understand that adults around them are doing the best they can even when it is sometimes questionable.
Benefits of Teen Mediation:
Teens will gain the tools and skills to fit into their environments, know how to communicate and behave respectfully and to exercise self-responsibility. Having the tools to fix their bike along their journey will enable them to ride forward in life instead of getting stuck and retreating from life’s break downs!
Real life situations: mediated with human values:
- My friend posted a story on Facebook about me that’s not true because I wouldn’t do something she asked me to do that was against the rules and could get me in big trouble. My friends are making fun of me and are believing Facebook instead of me. What do I do? I think this is bullying!
Action: We will go to the human values checklist and find a clear position on how you are really feeling before you do or say something you might regret especially on social media. This will help you decide whether to get help from adults or determine what to say or do that won’t cause more backlash. It is most importamt that we deal with how you can manage your own feelings when people say things to you that hurt you. I will show you how with emotional regulation.
- I am so lucky to be included in the most popular group of friends in my school. But now I find that to stay in the group I have to do things that aren’t that much fun to me. Is it more important to be like them or me? I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t have this group to hang around with! I’ll be all alone!
Action: We’ll go to the human values checklist and see how reviewing your thoughts about this group of friends might affect your decision. However it turns out, you can at least be confident and strong in whatever happens since you’re the one making the choice.
- My friends and I went to the store to get snacks. One friend dared me to steal a candy bar, saying it was no big deal. He said it’s a fun game that he plays all the time and why waste my money when you can get it for free? I have this values list kinda memorized in my mind. I know what the answer should be but might it be OK this time?
Action: Let’s run it through the human values checklist again just to see. Maybe it will help you to figure out a way to tell him why you didn’t want to do that and help you to say “no thank you” much easier if there is a next time. I understand your need to save status with your friends so they don’t think you’re just a chicken. ” Giving yourself skills to navigate life will always help you make faster better decisions.
If you’d like to find out more about Teen Mediation, contact The Mediation Mentor »