This quick guide can help you evaluate your position when you’re feeling conflicted or confused about your thoughts, emotions, choices, and decisions about life situations. Check the items below that you agree with and feel comfortable in maintaining. Then mediate the unchecked items by having a “self-conversation” about the beliefs that you presently hold. Next, clearly identify the confusion present. Then resolve what change, action or inaction you can live with and move forward. Clearly finding your balanced position before reacting with others will create the best opportunity for successful negotiations, acceptable outcomes and healthy relationships.
LOVE (feeling of brotherhood and goodwill towards all people)
___ 1. I am communicative, sharing and caring concerning this situation.
___ 2. I am behaving with kindness and goodwill towards others regardless of how they treat me.
___ 3. I am allowing others to express their values and interests without being defensive.
___ 4. I am accepting their beliefs with empathy and/or compassion knowing they are doing their best today.
___ 5. I am focused on an outcome that will be beneficial for all of us without expectations.
TRUTH (established fact, morally accepted, trustworthy, honest, sincere)
___ 1. I am communicating my needs honestly with others and myself.
___ 2. I am unselfish and wanting fairness in my negotiations.
___ 3. I am being forthright and not hiding hidden agendas when negotiating my wants.
___ 4. I am secure in my beliefs being mine and not from what I’m told to be.
___ 5. I know that my beliefs and interests are in balance with universal values.
___ 6. I am honoring others the right to their opinion without judgment.
___ 7. I am allowing others to maintain their beliefs and agree to disagree when necessary.
RIGHT ACTION (promotes justice, honorable, good-hearted, fair-minded, trustworthy, credible, reliable)
___ 1. I am thinking and acting helpful towards others, my environment and myself.
___ 2. I am wanting something that is morally justified, legal, ethical and equitable.
___ 3. I am being asked to do something that is the best for all concerned.
___ 4. I am only agreeing to act in accordance with MY “Human Value standards.”
___ 5. I am doing something that I would want someone to do to me.
___ 6. I am focused on an “US” outcome, not a ”ME only” outcome.
___ 7. I am behaving in an ethical manner and not just wanting me to be right.
___ 8. I am acting without causing emotional, physical, or verbal harm.
PEACE (calm, friendly, conciliatory, harmonious)
___ 1. I am actively listening/focusing on others wants and needs without jumping to conclusions and judgments.
___ 2. I am emotionally calm, compassionate and nonjudgmental when negotiating my needs to others.
___ 3. I know and accept that only I make myself feel mad or angry.
___ 4. I am taking responsibility for my feelings and not blaming others.
___ 5. I am forgiving myself as well as the others involved.
___ 6. I am restoring peace when applicable with an apology and/or providing restitution if possible in the best way I can.