Using Human Values In Mediation

The following questions are to assist you in mediating and navigating the use of Universal Human Values into your everyday life.

When considering or negotiating a belief or an action-simply review the questions to see if your answers represent YOUR truth and values that you are comfortable expressing to the world. It will help you to SELF-mediate and move forward along a righteous path towards a happy, joyful existence instead of repeating patterns of behavior which may have caused disharmony for yourself and others.

Once you become comfortable with the complete value descriptions, you can use the shortened checklist and even shorten that to your own liking.

*See the shortened version of the human values checklist »

Universal Human Values defined:

Universal Human Values recognize every human being’s individuality and unique circumstances while affirming their innate goodness and commonality concerning basic needs, wants, values and interests. Learning to connect and live with shared human values of love, truth, peace and right action are steps everyone can take to establishing a peaceful world.  “Peace on Earth” is a collective collaboration that begins with peace within YOU!

LOVE (The feeling of brotherhood and goodwill towards all people)

  • Are you treating yourself and others with kindness, caring and sharing whether or not they treat you the same?
  • Do you accept and believe that if someone does something unkind to you that you don’t have to do it back or get even?
  • Are you able to connect, listen and allow yourself and others to express values and interests without closing down your mind and becoming defensive?
  • Do your values, beliefs and interests include accepting people as they are, with empathy and compassion for their confusion, misunderstanding, illness, or lack of knowledge?
  • Do you think of the other person’s welfare as equally important as your own?
  • Are you clearly communicating and setting boundaries that others can understand without expecting them to just know? (unshared expectations sabotage communication and outcomes!)
  • Are you patient and giving your best without any expectation of how people should respond, or are you selfishly giving with the intent of getting something in return?

TRUTH (Established, morally accepted, trustworthy, honest and sincere facts)

  • Are your values, interests and beliefs honest?
  • Are you trying to get away with something by selfish manipulation?
  • Are you a great actor pretending to be one thing on the outside but hiding your inner truth?
  • What is the truth behind your beliefs towards an issue? Where did it come from? Is it your belief or something you were told you should have?
  • Do your beliefs about truth lie within acceptable boundaries when compared to Universal Truths, which are the same for all people?
  • Can you honor the commonality as well as the differences that exist between your truth and that of others without judgment?
  • Can you allow others to maintain their beliefs without attacking their truth, and live in a neutral position of agreeing to disagree?

RIGHT ACTION (Promoting justice and acting honorably; being good-hearted, fair-minded, trustworthy, credible, reliable)

  • Are your thoughts and actions helpful to yourself, others and your surroundings?
  • Are you wanting something that is universally immoral or unethical and may involve lying, cheating, stealing or taking something away from another for personal gain?
  • Are you being asked to be a part of an action by another that involves manipulation for someone’s specific purpose that is not serving the best interests of all concerned?
  • Are you uncomfortable or not feeling right about an action you’ve been asked to do because it jeopardizes your values?
  • Are you getting what you want by using manipulative personal power to control others?
  • Are you doing to someone what you would be happy receiving from them or someone else in return?
  • Are you focused on YOU winning or US winning?
  • Do YOU want to be right (your way) or be righteous (moral way)?
  • Are you communicating, establishing and setting clear boundaries that are reasonable and beneficial for all?
  • Are you getting your wants and needs to be met without violence or emotional, verbal or physical harm to others? (gossiping, social media bombs, yelling and hitting)

PEACE (A state of calm, friendly, conciliatory harmony)

  • Can you practice respectful, effective listening skills and focus on others’ wants and needs instead of jumping to conclusions?
  • Can you remain emotionally calm, compassionate and nonjudgmental when negotiating your wants and needs?
  • Can you take responsibility for the fact that no one ever makes you mad or angry – you make yourself angry?
  • Are you willing to take the responsibility and time to examine your triggers to see why you’re angry without blaming others? (You must establish peace within before without.)
  • Can you forgive yourself as well as forgive others and let go of that which you have no control over, and can’t fix or change?
  • Are you willing to attempt to restore peace to a relationship by expressing a heartfelt apology and restitution where and when applicable?

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If you’d like to find out more about using Human Values in Mediation, contact The Mediation Mentor »