We Have a Choice: Staying Fearful or Staying Present

One year has passed since the 2016 American presidential election and many of us are still reeling from the aftermath and continued confusion that exists. It is interesting that people continue to spend an appreciable amount of time and energy in defining what is wrong and what is right. They get emotionally and physically distraught while creating anguish for themselves that keep them from living peacefully in their present lives. They have robbed themselves by their own beliefs and have assigned blame to outside forces because of fear.


What society generally does is take a position and tries to control, manipulate and ego its way to being right. Why?

Because if people agree with something else, then that will put them into a fear and/or vulnerable position of having to revisit their lives. By affect, they may have to alter or drastically change what they’re used to and comfortable with should a different resolution occur.

That is explosive fear backed by expectations, past experiences and perceptions that model a ME position instead of a WE position to approaching solutions.

What Would a SELF-Mediator Do?

True SELF-mediators would never enter into an argument. Instead, they would institute the first step and allow everyone to voice their opinion and beliefs concerning any given topic, practice good listening skills, staying unemotional, and allow others the right to their own beliefs. They would then focus on similarities of what everyone thinks they want as an end result. From there, ideas and solutions can surface in a respectful environment without blame and shame, a discussion can occur, agreements finalized and positive forward action implemented.

Living this “mediation lifestyle” will lead to a happy stress-free life. When you look in the dictionary you will see that “mediation” has its’ original root from the Latin word meaning “in the middle” and is broken down into:

MEDIATION=(MEDI) combining form + (TION) in a state of being

The role of a mediator is clearly defined as a person who remains detached, neutral, confidential and nonjudgmental in any given situation. What if “they,” the people in the world you come in contact with, and “you” are actually like a scientific experiment of combining an acid and base just waiting to be neutralized and combined in the middle into an agreement to coexist peacefully? Neither bases nor acids are right, good, wrong, or bad. It is how they are used and how they interact and combine that creates confusion, distraction, conflict and possible combustion.

Learning to neutralize, stabilize and stay in unity in balanced coexistence will keep relationships intact with respectful understanding and acceptance.

This is always the best way to communicate your position and will give you the highest possibility of getting your needs met and creating mutually acceptable change when needed.

It is when you co-exist IN mediation from this balanced state combined with Universal Human Values that life gets really fun! Yes, everything becomes fun without the extreme ebb and flow of pain, agony, fear, disappointment and all the other blocks, thoughts and emotions that accompany the usual and customary modes of most behaviors we see today.

Yes, there will be moments of unpleasantness, emotional hurt and pain, but they too will pass quickly and will neutralize without needing to call 911 for CPR! The game of life will continually evolve forward and become nothing but a moment in time that just keeps on going-not giving you the need or desire to stop and stay stuck on a roller coaster ride going around and around in circles.

What Happens When We Don’t Properly Mediate Differences And Confrontations?

When you have two sides that choose to stay in the Me-Me position, there will never be a happy resolution. A breakdown in relationships, social media bombs, bullying, and inappropriate explosive reactions will create further distance away from finding a peaceful amicable relationship. When there is no peace within a system of governance, it always leads back up to the leader modeling the boundaries whether in the home, the community or the government.

Instead of going to the table to discuss what is good for the people and all concerned (including the environment and all physical structures that exist), our government leaders go to the table to argue and defend THEIR personal and party pre-paved ideals. What if all our congressmen had to poll all the people in their constituency before they went to Washington to vote? What if they had to act like homeowner associations where a 75% vote of the people was needed to pass major changes like health care? What if they had the same health care benefits and costs that the citizens have?

What Will Happen If We Don’t Have Enough Responsible “Mediators” To Go To The Table And Resolve Issues Concerning The “Us” We Call Citizens Of The UNITED States?

We will have “WAR” on some level whether it will occur as financial, social and/or mental unraveling in the systems. So, it appears that at this time we all are participating in an entire breakdown of a country so we can readjust ourselves and neutralize ourselves just like that base/acid combination.

How Do You Help Make Change For A Better Outcome?

Very simple and yet ignored by most…mediate with yourself, re-establish the lost Universal Human Values into your life and communicate from an unconditional, detached, nonjudgmental and confident position.

I guarantee you that if you take time to look at yourself and make useful changes instead of bullying everyone and everything else in your life, you will be happier, less stressed and able to model a “new healthy” in a world of broken values. The more individuals who practice and teach through personal modeling of this righteous lifestyle, the faster things will improve.

It reminds me of the simple truth regarding the Amway Corporation. If we the people all signed up and only bought soap products from them, we would put Proctor and Gamble out of business in less than 30 days and make money doing it!

The money would go around and around in a circle sharing with all the people-not just a select group of stockholders. Have you ever wondered why multi-marketing and trade/barter share and care organizations are scrutinized? We have far greater group power than we know. Think about that, especially when your stomach turns upon hearing the next political scandal.

Three Things You Can Do Now

  1. Examine your own beliefs and values about issues that get you upset.
  2. Be curious, not judgmental of people that you disagree with on topics.
  3. Mediate within yourself by being congruent with your values and by communicating with respect and openness.

In the next article, we will discuss the power of active listening. This is “the Mediation Mentor”, wishing you the best outcome for this day and reminding you to do something for someone else to make a difference because you can.